Hua Hin Bar Girls

Hua Hin, Thailand, January 23, 2006

Hua Hin has a Red Light district and it happened to be right next to my guesthouse. I went for a stroll when I heard things starting to get rowdy but for some reason I just didn't seem to have many Bar Girls trying to hit on me. They seemed to concentrate on the older European guys with the Beer Bellies. Finally, a group of girls asked me to join them for a beer. At first they tried to set me up with a woman for the night but I am so down to Earth and innocent, they ended up just adopting me like a stray puppy.

I asked one of the girls if I could take a photo of them and they were all enthusiastic about the idea. The next thing I knew, they had elected me as their official photographer.

I took photos of them all and then I went with 'Mon' to have them developed. We brought the 4x6 prints back to the bar a few minutes later and they were all delighted.

One of the girls is trained in Thai Massage so she showed me how to massage the hands. Then I massaged her shoulders for her. The women pitched in and bought me beer for taking their photos and massaging their shoulders.
Here are some of the other pictures I took.

This girl is the youngest of this crew. She is 27.

And I found that this photo really brought out a grace and beauty to her otherwise lanky features.

This woman was the greatest challenge because her mouth falls into a grimace when I snap pictures of her. I asked everyone how old they were. They said they were all 37. They all come from Central Thailand; just East of Kohn Kaen, which is where many of the call girls come from.

When I was done they asked how much I charge for my services. I said: "For you; special deal; 4,000 bhat ($130) We laughed together and I told them I was bad for their business. I pointed out that they were paying me to drink beer with them. I think my Thai negotiating skills are improving.

Children's' Day In Ubon

Ubon Rathathani, Thailand, January 6, 2006

Ted and I took a bus from Bangkok to Kohn Kaen and then over to Ubon Ratchathani on our way to Vietnam.

Linly is a 19 year-old college student we met on the bus. She was just heading to Ubon to visit her family and then return the same day. She was very excited to meet two Canadians. She told us she wanted to travel all over the world one day. I asked her where she would like to go most. Linly replied: "My dream is to twah-vell some whay with you!"

This is my very dear friend Joy, who I met last year in Ubon. We arrived on children's' Day so we had a chance to meet Joy's niece at a parade. I can hear my Mom muttering to herself: "Why do they need children's' Day? Every day is children's' day..."

This is 'Oy' (on the left); another woman I met last year. Joy, Oy, Loy, and Coy were giving out free Ice Cream to the children on this day as part of the festivities (okay I made up the other two names.).

These are some of the cutie pies who were dancing in the festival.

The costumes were wonderful and the girls could really dance!

These two girls were crowned as Princesses for the day. They were very excited to get attention from the visiting Farangs. I gave them tiny Canadian Flags just after I took this photo.

And how about this cutie patootie? (as my sister would say). This is another one of Joy's nieces.

This little guy was just too cute to pass up. Thai children are not shy at all at having their pictures taken.

Thailand's Ancient City

Bangkok, Thailand, april 28, 2005

I'm back in Bangkok for the last week of my stay in Thailand. I was talking to Monkey and she told me her parents were visiting from Khon Kaen so I looked them up and we all took a trip to the 'Ancient City' which is just South of Bangkok itself.

You may remember Sit, Nu and Kow from the Kohn Kaen Posts I did. They are like my family away from home and although they speak no English and I speak no Thai, we still seem to have a great time together.

This is considered to be the oldest City in Thailand and has been built up like a theme park. As you pedal around on a bike you can visit relics from all the parts of Thailand. It felt like having a mini review of my whole journey here.

The sculptures here are amazing but the other thing I love about it is the wildlife. There was a deer sleeping just to the side of Kow in this picture.

Is there a family resemblance here or is it just me?

This Temple houses the footprint of Buddha and is considered one of the most sacred places in all of Thailand. Sit and Nu asked that I take this picture specially for them.

This is the actual footprint, or a stylized form of it.

The Thai Junk was still used as a barge until about 30 years ago.

Serina, from Bangkok, and her boyfriend, Steve, from England, posed for me at the bow of the Junk. It's the inside view of the last picture.

At the entrance to the Park you can see a pond of Lotus flowers. I highly recommend the Ancient city if you visit Bangkok.

Chiang Mai: April 13; Songkran!

The Songkran Festival is Thailand's Lunar New Year and it's all about WATER!!!! It is the Year 1378 according to the Buddhist Lunar Calendar. I decided to go to the heart of the Festival; Chiang Mai; to see what this holiday is really all about. I was told that Chiang Mai is different in the way it celebrates the Water Festival because it is the only place where both young and old participate equally.

This date represents the symbolic hottest day of the year and it doesn't come too far from it in real life. It was 37 degrees celcius as far as I know and it felt a lot hotter than that to me.

This little guy had such a deadly aim!

Remember the sweet innocent woman who gave me such great foot massages in Chiang Mai when I was last here.

I went back to her today; shucking and jiving to try to avoid the crazies with buckets and squirt guns who brought this city under siege. I went all this way so that I could bring some sanity to my day with a calming massage from my friend 'Roon' who did such a good job the last time I was here. But when I arrived, there was Roon, bucket in hand; crazier than all the rest combined! She has become a raving maniac; dousing people with water as they pass on the street.

One of the communities had their own parade but as they walked along, they were soaked again and again.

And this is the one time of the year when the transvestites can come out on the street and strut their stuff; and boy did they!

Many Thais asked me why the Farangs seemed to get into it so much. I said we do this all the time in Canada, only it's freezing cold and we call it a snowball fight.

On the way to Chiang Mai, I rode on the bus to Suri Thani with Rachael, Nick and Katie who were also heading for the celebration. Katie is an English teacher working in Khon Kaen and her two friends are visiting from London England. They were polite and sensible and quiet...

It only took one word to change all that...SONGKRAN...

Khon Kaen: (4) Massage

Okay, We're leaving the Buddhist Celebration. I'm in the Pickup truck with Nu, Sit and Uncle and they are taking me back to Sit's place to get my stuff (I think). We arrive and a few minutes later I am on my way with Uncle to the big city. For those of you wondering, I never did get a hold of Nuan from Sit's place because their phone was dead.

Uncle takes me to the Phu Inn where I check in to find that no one speaks English. That is no matter though, because the girls behind the desk are such sweetie pies and laugh and giggle as I try to make myself understood. It becomes a kind of carnival show just to watch what I will do next.

I say in Thai that I would like a 'Thai massage'. The Woman manager at the front desk says: "We have. 300 baht. In your room." I ask her to repeat the amount because I want to make sure I'm not signing up for more than a massage.

Forty five minutes later there is a brisk knock on my door and an attractive very friendly woman enters the room in a track suit carrying a gym bag. She speaks no English but point to herself and says: "Kee-Ken". I started to worry. Her name sounded too much like a stage name. I introduce myself and she flops on the bed and pulls out two containers of oils and cremes and tells me that for 400 baht more she will use these lotions. Fine. She begins.

Her massage technique was rushed and very sloppy as she rubbed the creme over me but I just lay on my stomach and closed my eyes and relaxed. Then she suddenly had the TV on and began chatting with me. She kept alternating between watching the news, talking to me and massaging me.

Then she is saying something that means that she wants me to take her with me to Ubon Ratchitani as her "buddy". "Mai" (no) I said. Then she started to do a pout as a joke to my answer. She carried on with the massage again. Then she stopped and said what I think was: "Let me take you downtown so you can buy me clothes at a boutique." Or maybe she said: "I work as a model and I would like you to be my agent as I bring customers into the boutique to show them clothes." Then she seemed to want me to be her agent in Canada.

All the time she would go between watching TV, massaging me and making plans for me and her on her 'Motor-see-clette'. Two hours later, I get my money out to pay her the 700 baht when she says: "Steeeebbbb..." and did that pouty thing with her lips again. She held up her hands to indicate that I should give her one thousand baht so that she could have a tip. I reluctantly agree but then she winks and lets me know that for only 400 baht more she would be happy to have a shower with me that I would never forget. I smile and shake my head. She kisses my on the cheek and leaves. Call it false economy if you like. I just think that there should be romance associated with sex. I latched the door and heaved a sigh of relief.

Buddhist Celebration

Kohn Kaen, Thailand, March 23, 2005

Every day seems like a miracle here in Thailand but this day was the most touching.

When we left our heroes they had just polished off 4 bottles of whiskey and gone to bed at 1:30am Sunday night.

It's 6am and the house is suddenly alive. I get up and have a shower and suddenly I am being whisked into Uncle's Police Pickup Truck to parts unknown. I know we're not going to Khon Kaen because they don't want me to bring my knapsack.

We drive for two hours and I have no way to ask where we are going so I just enjoy the ride over bumpy country roads, dodging buffalo and chickens.

Suddenly we arrive at a small village where Thai music is blaring out of loudspeakers and a hundred or more people are sitting at round tables full of food.

Everyone seems to know everyone and Sit and Nu introduce me to several people. Then out comes the whiskey and Chang beer and a smiling young woman who introduces herself to me as 'Jenny' attends to our table. This is Jenny's Aunt I think, and 18 year old Jenny.

I am the only white person at this gathering so I am looked at as somewhat of a celebrity. Everyone seems to want to meet me and I smile and say: "Sawadee cup" and put my hands in prayer position as I do. As I do this the various people smile and return the greeting and nod, saying how nice I am and how happy they are that I could join them (all in Thai, of course).

Jenny is the only one in the whole gathering who knows any English and she keeps coming to our table to talk with me. I took a picture with Jenny and someone I think is her Aunt.

Our hosts insist I start eating and as I fill my plate I realize what these foods are. Dennis: remember when I thought we were eating liver in Kho Samet? It was chicken blood in cubes. (I owed you that one for calling me ugly).

I love the green Currie, and the pig heart chunks are chewy but tasty. I'm really not that hungry since it is only 8 am but I make a good show of enjoying the meal (which was very good actually) and I keep drinking my Chang Beer.

The music coming out of the speakers is a Thai dance song and I start moving my hands in the gestures that Sit taught me the night before and I hear a collective gasp of astonishment from the crowd and suddenly I'm being hauled up to dance.

A group of elderly ladies from the village begin to laugh and clap and encourage me.

Then the most senior of the ladies invites me to dance which Nu indicates to be a great honour. So away we go. Everyone is giving the thumb's up and one man with very big teeth is smiling his toothy grin and laughing at the enjoyment of the dance.

Children scurry around me and laugh as I pull out my camera and take their pictures.

When I finally get back to my table, Jenny asks me to join her as her honored guest at a Buddhist ceremony that is about to begin but Nu motions to me that we have to be going. I thank her very much and my party whisks me into the back of the club cab pickup truck. Before they can close the door, the man with the toothy grin throws a hand in for me to shake and tells me in a very excited tone how wonderful it was to meet me.

Just before the door closes, Jenny reaches in with both hands and grasps my arm and says in a very sweet tone: "You are always welcome in our village, Steve. My mother died yesterday and you made our celebration very special."
See the other adventures [Kohn Kaen Massage] [Kohn Kaen Karaoke 2] [Kohn Kaen Massage]

Khon Kaen Karaoke 2: Women

Kohn Kaen, Thailand, March 23, 2005
9:30pm Karaoke Bar: Sit motions me to suddenly get up and before I know it we are heading to another bar down the dirt road. Two minutes later, he stops the Pickup truck and the five of us go into a bar that has a brightly lit stage in Day glow colors and a table of several women in their 20s and 30s all dressed in tight disco outfits that look like something from the 80s. A woman who introduces herself as Nuan comes up to me and asks me: "Do you like breasts?" I shrug and say: "Chai". Nuan gives the nod to the other people with me and we all take our seats. 'Sit' orders our 4th bottle of whiskey for the night and the show begins. The first dancer comes on stage wearing a very tight, K-Mart Blue dress and starts lip sinking to a song as she dances. I keep thinking she is about to begin taking her clothes off but she never does.

Sit (pictured here) motions for me to follow him and we head to the dance floor in front of the stage and begin Thai dancing. Then the Dancer on stage starts doing different moves which I imitate. At the end of the song she yells out 'Canada' and everyone smiles and nods their heads. The flash on my camera isn't working tonight but I have a photo of a woman very similar to the dancers here. I think it's a shame when lovely Thai woman try to imitate the way Farangs dress. It's like being trapped in a time warp from the Seventies.

While five other dancers take turns on the stage, Nuan plants herself on the chair next to me and talks to me in reasonable English. She says she is a hair dresser and says she can give me a ride to Khon Kaen in the morning if I wish. I say: "Chai krup, Cup-khun-cup" because Uncle can only take me in the afternoon. I suggest she just pick me up at Sit's home in the morning but she glances over to them and says to me: "You should come to my salon in the morning if you are still interested." I think she is also trying to say that she is interested in coming to Ubon Ratchithani the next day as well, but it's so loud in the bar I just can't be sure. I'm confused by that offer and I say I will call her the next day from Sit's.

At midnight, the five of us (Nuan stays there) head back home to Sit and Nu's place where we have a late meal of leftovers from the picnic earlier that day and we polish off the 4th bottle of Whiskey. We finally head to bed at 1:30am.

Maybe it's just as well my camera flash wasn't working that night. It was so surreal; but so fun.

Khon Kaen Karaoke

Sunday Night:
Monkey left me with 'Uncle', 'Sit' and 'Nu' to take me back to Khon Kaen while she, Dennis and Jook went back home to Bangkok. Dennis will be resuming his Cycling trip on Wednesday the 23rd, into Laos. As we parted for the final time he shook my hand and said "See you Ugly." and left in Monkey's car with Jook, Monkey, and my new best friend 'Kow' who I now refer to as 'Kato' after the Green Hornet's side kick, Bruce Lee.

Now keep in mind that I speak 12 words of Thai and Monkey's parents speak as many in English so all we knew was whatever Monkey told them when we parted. An hour into the trip Nu turns to me and says something that I take to mean that we are going to their place tonight and Khon Kaen tommorrow afternoon. All I know, is when a Police Commissioner and a Tank Commander say to stay, I stay.

So now it's two hours later and we're sitting outside Sit's place polishing off the second bottle of Seagram's whiskey when I said the one word that transformed our sleepy drinking party into a frenzy of activity. I said 'Karaoke' and suddenly Sit is animated and everyone is shouting and nodding and before I know it I'm having a shower and getting ready to go out. Another woman arrives and seems to be a friend of Uncle's and we all pile into Uncle's Police Truck and head out. I can't help wondering why it was not possible to drive me to Khon Kaen and yet here we are driving to a Karaoke Bar. But then we arrive there only five minutes later.

The place is a throwback from the Seventies with Neon lights and a 32 inch TV on mounted on each opposing wall. I'm not able to take pictures because my flash doesn't work. I tell them I'm buying, and I'm just getting ready to say: "please feel free to order something to eat as well..." when a stack of plates and cutlery suddenly arrive at the table. Then a bottle of Whiskey is brought out along with ice, mixer and some wine coolers.

Sit pours everyone a drink and after a few quick gulps, motions me up to the dance floor. The TV screen is showing two transvestites dancing and singing in a front of beautiful Thai show girls dressed in red feathers.

As the two men in drag are singing, Sit is showing me how to dance as a Thai. The hand gestures are very much like harem dancing except the men keep their fingers straight. I feel embarrassed at first but people start clapping and giving me the thumb's up so I just relax and have fun.

Then a group of teenagers arrive and two of the guys stand up and start doing a dance where they stand side by side and do a lot of hand motions as if they are pushing and pulling the air. The rest of my table are ignoring them but I finally get up and join them. Now there are three of us dancing and the people at their booth are all laughing and clapping. When I'm done, all 10 of them excitedly shake my hand and talk a mile a minute in Thai. All I can say is "Cup-khun-Cup" and they get really excited. For some reason I am starting to understand intuitively what Thais are saying so I tell them I'm from Canada and they all welcome me to Thailand.

I rejoin my own party and Sit goes up and talks to the DJ about finding a song in English for me to sing. Suddenly they hand me a mike and Sit and Nu drag me up to the dance floor to sing the song that is being put up on the TV screens. At first I keep saying "Mai, mai" (no, no) and shaking my head. They think I'm just being modest and insist I start singing. So I finally give in and begin to sing the words projected on the screen: "When I go out with the girls, I get a little bit bitchy. When I go and buy my dresses, they're all a little too sexy..." I do the Thai dance with the song and the crowd goes wild. I just keep praying there are no people in the place who understand English.

Khon Kaen:(2) Cobra Strikes and Ostrich Bites

We started our day with a tour of the Village outside Khon Kaen.

We went to the local Temple which was built 200 years ago and the painted surfaces are still intact after all these years.

As we walked back, more and more people kept showing up and we kept saying hello. By the time we were back to Sit and Nu's home, we felt we were the stars of a parade.

I took this picture of the people who wanted to greet the Farangs.

After a wonderful breakfast we headed to...Okay, this wasn't breakfast. It's the scorpion that was at our front door when we got up this morning. 'Sit' took it out and dropped it back over the Stone fence of his yard.

But these guys? They are alive and they are to eat. They cost 20 baht a piece. Put in your orders while supplies last.

We all hopped in a Pickup truck (Dennis and I rode in the back) and we went to town to see where they make the silk products. You would have loved to watch these women on the looms, Mel. Khon Kaen is world renowned for having the best silk anywhere.

Monkey is modelling a silk sash she bought. 300 baht. EEK it's cheap eh Melissa?

Then it was on to the Temple where Buddha's remains are interred. This is Monkey, Kow (which means 'Nine') and Nu. Kow and I became great buddies when I helped him learn to swim in a reservoir we picnicked at. He is a tennis player, rated 25th in his town. He's also a great checkers player. I nick named him 'Kato'. He is Sit and Nu's nephew and is going to join Monkey in Bangkok for a while where he will take more tennis training and learn to use the Internet.

Dennis really knows how to hit that bell. It makes a wooden bong that is very powerful.

This is the King Cobra Project. This little guy risks his life to dodge a deadly Cobra for tips.

And this is the biggest of all the Cobras. I thought maybe the snakes would have been drugged for this show but they move incredibly fast. I would hate to see what he pays for his medical plan.

Jook wasn't smiling a moment later when this Ostrich nipped her. This ostrich reserve is inside a military base where Sit was a Colonel.

We spent two days looking at fascinating animals and temples and forests. Sit and Nu treated us like royalty. I really have so much to write about on this trip but I have so many other stories I'm dying to tell about what happened just after this weekend that I will just leave it for now. All I can say mom is: I'm glad my trip is winding down...