Wednesday, March 23, 2005

Khon Kaen: (4) Massage

Okay, We're leaving the Buddhist Celebration. I'm in the Pickup truck with Nu, Sit and Uncle and they are taking me back to Sit's place to get my stuff (I think). We arrive and a few minutes later I am on my way with Uncle to the big city. For those of you wondering, I never did get a hold of Nuan from Sit's place because their phone was dead.

Uncle takes me to the Phu Inn where I check in to find that no one speaks English. That is no matter though, because the girls behind the desk are such sweetie pies and laugh and giggle as I try to make myself understood. It becomes a kind of carnival show just to watch what I will do next.

I say in Thai that I would like a 'Thai massage'. The Woman manager at the front desk says: "We have. 300 baht. In your room." I ask her to repeat the amount because I want to make sure I'm not signing up for more than a massage.

Forty five minutes later there is a brisk knock on my door and an attractive very friendly woman enters the room in a track suit carrying a gym bag. She speaks no English but point to herself and says: "Kee-Ken". I started to worry. Her name sounded too much like a stage name. I introduce myself and she flops on the bed and pulls out two containers of oils and cremes and tells me that for 400 baht more she will use these lotions. Fine. She begins.

Her massage technique was rushed and very sloppy as she rubbed the creme over me but I just lay on my stomach and closed my eyes and relaxed. Then she suddenly had the TV on and began chatting with me. She kept alternating between watching the news, talking to me and massaging me.

Then she is saying something that means that she wants me to take her with me to Ubon Ratchitani as her "buddy". "Mai" (no) I said. Then she started to do a pout as a joke to my answer. She carried on with the massage again. Then she stopped and said what I think was: "Let me take you downtown so you can buy me clothes at a boutique." Or maybe she said: "I work as a model and I would like you to be my agent as I bring customers into the boutique to show them clothes." Then she seemed to want me to be her agent in Canada.

All the time she would go between watching TV, massaging me and making plans for me and her on her 'Motor-see-clette'. Two hours later, I get my money out to pay her the 700 baht when she says: "Steeeebbbb..." and did that pouty thing with her lips again. She held up her hands to indicate that I should give her one thousand baht so that she could have a tip. I reluctantly agree but then she winks and lets me know that for only 400 baht more she would be happy to have a shower with me that I would never forget. I smile and shake my head. She kisses my on the cheek and leaves. Call it false economy if you like. I just think that there should be romance associated with sex. I latched the door and heaved a sigh of relief.


pmelissa said...

Steeb, Steeb, Steeb. What a funny life you are living right now.

If you look up 'Thai massage' in the dictionary, the list of definitions seems to be getting very, very long.

Cost of the massage: 1000 baht. The look on Steeb's face when it's over? Priceless.

Mike Fook said...

Six years ago I met her on a bus going back to Ubon. Can't remember where I was. Sisaket maybe. She was doing an internship helping poor kids in school... and kids with disabilities.

Funny to see her pic now. Definitely her. She did the SAME thing with the idea about taking her to Makro... to buy her a phone. I was looking at 3k baht phones. She was looking at 9k baht phones. That ended that.

Funny to stumble on this article.