Mom's Favorite Child

The storm has been brewing for a long time. The question that keeps raising it's ugly head is: 'Who truly IS Mom's favorite Child?' I hope this innocent video sets this matter to rest once and for all for those out there who seem to have a doubt (you know who you are...Melbah Toasty)

So here is my humble offering. You be the judge.

Click To Play

Still not convinced? Visit my [Erbsville Fan Club].

Lipeh Paradise

Koh Lipeh, Thailand, 2006

Koh Lipeh may seem like a paradise to the untrained eye but let me show you the dirt behind the myth.

I was crammed aboard a Speed Ferrie and forced to endure sun, ocean currents and flying fish for almost three hours.

You can see how nerve-racking this trip was for the other passengers.

The secret harbour police were watching me everywhere. Don't let this little guy fool you. Don't let the fact that he looks five years old fool you. I'm sure he was just waiting to collect intelligence. I can promise you he received none from me!

I was then taken by Long-Tail Boat to the Island of Lipeh.

My Guesthouse was located in a congested part of the Island. I was forced to endure the sound of the Ocean Tides (even at night) and the rustle of palm trees where ever I looked.

And speaking of noise; there were three times during my time on the beach when I was pulled away from my novel to look up at the sound of the Long-Tail heading across the Sea in front of me. This forced me to look at the scantily clad females in their bikinis all around me.

And here's a guy who went too far in his search for Nimo...Paradise? You decide.

Bangkok: April Fools Day

April Fools Day is a very special day to me. I asked a beautiful woman to marry me that day. But she later said no.

So I decided to book a trip to one place in Thailand that would help me to forget the disaster from this date last year...Phuket.

So now I'm booked to leave Bangkok Sunday night on the train to Phuket. (Please remember that day. It will be very important later) 'At' suggests I take the water ferry back to Kao San Road, and so for 10 baht I take a great ride back to my hotel. The ferry is a very fast boat and when it stops at the pier, run, don't walk to get on because it stops for only a few seconds before taking off again at a very good clip.

And it just so happens that there is a special Buddhist festival that night, right outside my hotel, so I attend.

A stage is set up on my street with Thai dancers and a young girl singing. When I looked closer I found that the costumes are actually very modest. The women wear what seem like white bathing suits under their costumes.

Kao san seems like a smaller version of Las Vegas. It was a festive night. I went to a bar and had a couple of drinks and some great Thai food and headed home.

The next day I went to the Weekend Market. It's called 'JJ Market' and you get there by taking the Sky Train. It is one of the biggest markets in the entire world.

They sell mostly clothing, Buddhist art and lots and lots of food. This little girl was looking at the Thai version of a pet shop (petting, not eating!!) Bangkok was sweltering hot this weekend. It was 40 degrees Celsius and I spent a lot of time running from to any place that had even a hint of air conditioning. What was I thinking! By the way, you notice I am still looking for those flip flops for you Sarah. Hey Rachael, let me know your size too! I hope you're size 6. These Thais really have small feet!

Ubon Family: Mar25

I was going to leave Ubon early Friday Morning to go to Ayutthaya, the ancient Capitol of Thailand, for the weekend. But small Oi insisted that I wait til the afternoon and have her husband take me in his Travel bus. He does a regular 12 hour trip from Ubon to Bangkok several times a week. So we all hung out at Oi's place and ate again. By this time these people had accepted me as one of the family so they all made me take special pictures with each of them.

Little Oi.

Big Oi. Or Oi Vay, as I call her.

The infamous Gai. Now you have to get past Joy and you have to get past me if you want to meet her!

I asked what the thing is all about that Pond keeps doing with his fingers over his face. Joy says it's his sign to mean that he's intelligent. Which he is by the way, very very intelligent. When they all saw how well Pond and I got along Oi said I should take Pond home to Canada and make him my son. What do you think Mom and Mliss? There's that spare room at Mom's place and we could all learn Thai...

It was impossible to have a picture taken where Pond didn't run in at the last moment...which was just fine with me.

This is small Oi's daughter.

All these women drive motorcycles and that's how they get around town. I never managed to get a shot of them on their bikes though. I nick named them the 'Thai Angels.

When it was time to go to the bus I went to say goodbye to the ladies but they all just motioned me to get on Joy's bike and we all headed to the station together.
Joy and Gai waited in the bus with me and small Oi got me some water for my trip.
So just imagine. I was sent off in a bus that doesn't actually go to Ayutthaya, with a man I have only met a few minutes before, who doesn't speak any English, who is now going to see to it that I get to where I'm going.

As the bus was leaving I yelled out to Joy, "He knows I'm going to Ayutthaya right?". She yelled back: "No time to talk. Just you go." The door closed and away I went.

More Joy In Ubon: Mar24

I have a passion for Buddhist Temples so Joy took me on the Motorcycle tour of Temples.

You can see the Naga theme repeated in these Temples and also the Chinese influence through color and the use of dragons.

I want to give these guys from Sony special mention. I showed them my camera and wanted them to see if they could replace the flash which I thought had burned out. The three of them looked at it for two seconds, pushed a button and handed it back to me all fixed. So my night shots are thanks to my new best friends here.

When ever I see a monkey I think of my dear friend from Bangkok and can't resist taking a picture for her. Here's to you Toi!

Joy and Gai are best friends and this is one of the best pictures I took of them. Joy kept trying to marry me off to her friends including Gai. For those of you looking for a great marriage partner, I highly recommend Gai. She has a beautiful spirit, a wonderful sense of humor and she owns her own home. Plus, can she ever cook. But remember, before you can meet Gai, you have to get approved by Joy!

Today is Gai's birthday. I got her a that stuffed dog and a birthday cake. Thais don't make a very big deal of birthdays but they love to celebrate. Gai said this was the best birthday she ever had. Joy and I both got Gai Birthday cakes but when I suggested we put candles on them Joy gave me a look of disgust. "We not like blow on cake with breath. Not good to spit on cake." I admitted I had never considered that but I couldn't resist pointing out that hers is the same culture that thinks nothing of eating food that has flies landing on it and grasshoppers are a delicacy here in Ubon. As if to make sense of the grasshopper thing, Joy said: "Yes, but first take legs off"

I felt like I was at a progressive supper. Joy, Gai and I got on motorcycles and went down the street where we met up with 'Oi' for a some lunch.

As we were eating, another friend showed up. I asked what her name was and as if they thought I was daft they said: "Oi! Her name is Oi!" I said: I thought the other woman's name was Oi. "Yes", Joy said. But that is small Oi. This Big Oi."

Then my buddy 'Pond'(pro.'Pone+D) showed up He's five. As soon as he saw me he sat right up beside me, I put my arm around him and that's how he stayed the rest of the day.
Pond's mother died at childbirth and his father died of Cancer before he was born. Small Oi already has two children and can't really afford to take care of him but Thais just take care of each other anyway. Oi's husband drives a bus and makes very little money and is also away alot so Pond really enjoyed having a man around on this day.

After lunch, we all got in a pickup truck and went to see some Temples.

This is a Jackfruit that was growing on the grounds of this Temple. Pond loves to have his picture taken. It's not that I kept inviting him into the shot. He just would run in to be in the picture. You'll see a lot of Pond on this day...

I had no idea what he was saying most of the time but I just did whatever he said. Just after this picture was taken Pond motioned me to take him to a walled in pond nearby. I lifted him off my shoulders and stood him on the top of the wall. I thought it was some kind of enclosed garden. I looked down and there below us, just a few feet away was a ten foot crocodile sunning himself. At first Pond looked scared but then he looked down at me and smiled. I guess he figured I would protect him so he relaxed. I have got to learn more Thai words!

We were in a Budhist Museum sitting in front of a wax figure of one of the most famous Monks in all of Thailand. Suddenly Gai's cell phone rang and everyone tried to shush her as she started talking.

Joy laughed so hard she fell down and then they all were laughing uncontrollably.

This glass case is also here. The skeleton is no one in particular. I asked Joy why this display was in a Buddhist Monk Museum. She told me it was to show us that there is nothing to fear about birth or death. She said that the inscription tells us that both are just a part of nature and not to be feared or run away from.