Sunday, January 23, 2005

Things I'm Not Writing About

My sister sent me a crisp message on Yahoo messenger yesterday;

“Banana Boy, I expect a new Blog entry every day.” End of message.

So I started writing.
Do I write?
Yes I write.
I write a lot.
A LOT; really…

So when I wrote my post for yesterday I sent a crisp message on Yahoo messenger to my sister.

Melbah Toasty, I wrote a great post but I can't publish it.” End of message.

I wrote lots of things yesterday.
I wrote a list of relationship tips. Unfortunately, this list is from me; a guy who has been divorced twice and just had his fiancee call off the wedding. Let's face it, who want's to get relationship tips from a club that would have me as a member?

So then I wrote a stirring post giving advice to my ex sweetie on how she should conduct her life now that I'm no longer a part of it. I have to admit I did include the words 'Convent' and 'short-sighted blunder' in this advice.
I sent that one to my sister. “Steve, why don’t you just tell her these things instead of putting it in the Blog?”
“But Mel, I promised her I wouldn’t write her.”
“Stevie, if she changed her mind, then you can too.” Okay, my sister might have a point.

So then I wrote about my four most important love relationships, and why I chose those women. Now this one had so much promise that it began to sound like a Movie of the week, so I decided to keep writing it until I have a proper screenplay.

Here are things I almost wrote about:
I almost wrote about the blinding snow storm we had yesterday and how my sister trudged four blocks through the minus 30 conditions and slumped into my house exhausted. "Feel my chin" were the only words she spoke until she thawed out. "Oooh cold." I agreed.

I almost wrote about Hummingbirds. I have developed a fan club (well, okay, maybe not a fan club but at least I had one person comment on my Blog more than once). My loyal reader, Somsoc made me curious, so I sneaked back to her Blog where I found she had written a post about my post. "Ah, Eureka" I said to myself. I should write a post about the post she wrote about my post! But I didn't (or maybe I just did).

She wrote about one of my favorite subjects; hummingbirds. I started writing Somsoc a comment about how hummingbirds are an ancient symbol of love because they spread fertility from flower to flower. I was also going to say that the way to treat these birds is the way we should treat a lover. The hummingbird is poetry in motion. You never see a hummingbird perched on a branch, but always at high speed, over a flower, gathering nectar. Just like the best relationships, the beauty comes from giving your partner the freedom to be as they are, not in trying to possess them or hold onto them. I was going to say that if we try to grab this wonderful bird we crush it. But then my comment was starting to get longer than her post so I didn't write it…

I almost wrote about the fact that it's so hard to write when you know your friends can all read what you're writing. And how hard it is to write when you want to keep up a high standard of writing.

But then it occurred to me;
This is MY Blog. I don't have to please anyone. It's here for me to express what I want to say
I need to stop having an agenda and thinking that if I’m a good boy and say the right things and do the right things and make all my friends and family happy every thing will work out right.
It’s time to get on with living. It’s time to find out who I am and stop worrying about how it will effect other people,
I need to live life and write my Blog and go where I go and experience Thailand and be who I am.
Wow, that could be a good Post to write.
Maybe I’ll write it tomorrow…


somsoc said...

Your picture of the little h-bird is exquisite. Tell me, what's your source?

P.S. Your advice to yourself is perfect. Finding out who you are and celebrating that is an accomplishment. After the ending of my 20 year marriage it's taken me along time to do that. There's a sweetness in knowing that at the end of the day you enjoyed your own company and treasured your own thoughts.

from a fan

somsoc said...

I borrow your picture of h-bird for my blog? Not permitted?? Let me know.

Steven said...

Somsoc: As president of my Fan club (note the promotion) you are welcome to do with my hummingbird as you wish. My source is the Universe.
Your request reminds me of two quotes I'm going to add to my 'Favorite Quotes' section.
1. Plageurism is when you steal from one source. Research is when you steal from MORE than one source.
2. It's easier to appologize than to ask permission.

Feel free to write me. And thanks again for checking in. Steve

B$ said...

You are a great writer. Even with nothing to write about it's still interesting.

Thanks for visiting my blog :-)

Steven said...

B$: Thank YOU very much for coming back for another look. It means a lot.